Unity in Marriage

Unity in marriage is very important to have and can be very tricky to keep because both partners have different ideas of what the marriage should look like. This can bring about sticky situations and sometimes can lead to hurt feelings. How do you keep you and your spouse on the same page? Do you have a weekly time to sit down and have a family council or meeting to talk about things going on in the family, does one of you make the decisions and the other just follows along, do you take turns making the decisions, or do you negotiate until you come to a consensus? However you make decisions in your marriage, its best that it’s done in a healthy, positive and kind way that keeps your marriage unified and brings you both together.
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In chapter two of the book ‘Counseling with Our Councils’ by M. Russell Ballard (1997) it reads: “In the spirit under which we labor, men can get together with seemingly divergent views and far different backgrounds, and under the operant of that spirit, by counseling together, they can arrive at an accord, and that accord…represents the wisdom of the council, acting under the spirit. (In Conference Report, Oct. 1953, 86) page 44
Brother Ballard is teaching us that we can work together in a kind way and come to a consensus in a family counsel as a couple. When we have the spirit with us, it will make it easier to work together in a calm and loving way to find unity when both spouses come into the decision making conversation from different places.
The spirit can do amazing things to our hearts. It can soften them and help us to see and feel things that we might not have been able to see or feel before. Not only can it help us see and feel things, it can bring a peace and calmness to us that we can only find when we have the spirit with us.
“Where people have that spirit with them, we may expect harmony. The spirit puts the testimony of truth in our hearts, which unifies those who share that testimony. The spirit of God never generates contention. It never generates the feelings of distinctions between people which lead to strife. It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union with others. It unifies souls. A unified family, a unified church, and a world at peace depend on unified souls.” That We May Be One; Henry B Eyring, Ensign, May 1998, p. 2
            For the past few months I have let contention fester in our house because of my anxiety and I can feel the negative difference that is all around our family. Reading these talks this week has been an eye opener that I need to pray to have the spirit with me because it is when we have the spirit with us that we can have unity in our families. As we have allowed contention to settle in our family as a new member I have noticed that my husband and I aren’t as unified about as many things about the kids and house and it makes me feel dark and dreary. I need to pray to have the spirit back in me so that I  can feel more unified with him. I know that if we do this there will be less contention in our family and that the spirit will bring a sense of peace and unity to our family.

 “Marriage, in its truest form, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, August 1992, p. 6) “Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families” written by Richard B. Miller, PhD (2008).
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT! Husbands and wives walk side by side, next to one another. Equal partners. Helpmeets. One is not better than the other. Husbands and wives are different than each other. I tell my kids and the kids I work with-different doesn’t mean better, it just means not the same. Husbands and wives have different responsibilities and both are so important and both are so important so make family life work. Without both a unified family life wouldn’t work as smoothly.

Remember
  • Marriage is a partnership of EQUALS.
  • UNITY in marriage is the goal.
  • The spirit is a MUST to have unity.

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