Contract vs Covenant Marriage and Wolves

There are 2 types of marriages that I’d like to talk about today. There are contract marriages and covenant marriages. Contract marriages would also be referred to as civil marriages and covenant marriages would also be referred to Temple sealing’s.

There are many differences between these types of marriages. This chart gives a basic overview of these 2 types of marriages.  

	Contract Marriage	Covenant Marriage
When trouble arises they	Walk away	Work it out
In marriage for	personal benefits	to give and grow
Reason for marriage	receive benefits they bargained for	bound to each other, community & God
Each partner gives	50%	100%
When times get hard they:	cancel at will	Stay
Sheep	"Hireling"-leave the flock	Shepard-lay down their life
	Bondage	Valuable ties that bind

                In a contract marriage the partners are in the marriage to get out of it what they need for themselves. They want to get their needs met, and they aren’t as concerned with the other person’s needs as they are with their own. If things get hard in the marriage, then they will start thinking about walking away. They aren’t fully invested in the marriage, so it’s easier to walk away when things do get tough. In a contract marriage if a pack of wolves were coming near a flock of sheep the hirelings wouldn’t stay to guard the sheep, they would flee, only being concerned for their own wellbeing.

In a covenant marriage, both partners put their whole selves into the marriage. They are completely in the marriage. When hard times come, they’re going to work together to get through them. They aren’t going to find an easy way out. They both know that this marriage is eternal. They both 100% of their effort into making their marriage strong for both of them. They are like a Shepard when the wolves come near the flock, the Shepard won’t be frightened and leave their flock, but will stay nearby by and defend them.

In life there are 3 types of wolves that try to break down marriages. These wolves are: 1. Adversity; 2. Imperfections and 3. Excessive Individualism. All three of these wolves can be very detrimental to a marriage. I’d like to talk about how each of these can damage a marriage, and suggest some ways that couples can work to fortify their marriages against the attacks from these wolves.

            The first is Adversity. We were never promised that life would be easy, but that it would be worth it. With this knowledge, we know that there will be hard times that come to our marriages. These come in many forms such as struggles from work, family members, worldly concerns, medical issues, mental health, weather concerns, feelings of doubt or jealousy and they all have the ability to pull us away from our spouse. Adversity is Satan’s greatest tool. Couples must strengthen themselves so that when Satan throws his fiery darts at them, they have their shields ready to block them.

Couples forms their shields by having time to talk together, talking time to go on dates, taking time to listen to one another, taking time to share their concerns with one another, taking time to be intimate with one another, taking time to look at one another, taking time to remember why you feel in love with one another. Keep the adversity wolf out of your marriage and keep your love burning strong.

The second wolf is imperfections. This wolf can become so personal in a marriage that it can start out so small and without even being noticed and then grow to be a gigantic erupting volcanic mountain if you are not careful. A tiny seed of “I wish they didn’t do it that way;” or “I hate it when she does that” can grow into a “I HATE you” or “I CAN’T live with you anymore!”

Stop yourself from fault finding even when the faults are little because they can grow to be big, and when they become big, they can take over your view and they can make it so all you see in your spouse is what you hate and not what you love. The wolf of imperfection is a sneaky wolf that you must keep out at all costs.

The third wolf is excessive individualism. This wolf is extremely damaging in our society today. This may be the worst wolf yet. This wolf can grab hold of anyone and take hold so firmly that it is near impossible to get out of its grasp.

It’s true that we all need to develop our own talents and take time for ourselves, but the world would have us believe that we need to put ourselves before others all the time. The world would have us believe that me, myself and I am is the most important person ALL THE TIME!! In a marriage we need to make sure that the needs of our spouse and children are also being met and not selfishly think we are the only one with needs. When we don’t let the wolf of excessive individualism over run our lives our marriages will be stronger.

            If we can do our best to stay strong when the wolves of adversity come our way, we remember to not seek for the imperfections in our spouses and we seek to be united as a couple, we will be able strengthen our marriages and have them be an example to our children of what a strong covenant marriage is.