Defenders of Marriage

 “The lifelong union of a man and a woman always has promised nobility and dignity to all persons, without regard to their station in life. Marriage is sacred to those who live by their religions and offers unique fulfillment to those who find meaning in the secular realm. Its dynamics allows two people to find a life that could not be found alone, for a marriage becomes greater than just two persons. Rising from the most basic human needs, marriage is essential to our most profound hopes and aspirations.”

As I read over the Supreme Court hearing on same-sex marriage I felt myself being pulled more towards the side of why shouldn’t everyone have the right to marry whoever they want to marry. When I read the dissenting judges words I felt the agony along with them as they lamented how the rights of the American public was taken away from us when judges made the decision and not the general public.

I talked to my husband about how I was struggling because I was starting to see how marriage should be for all. Then I started reading the reasons why I felt this way and trying to figure out where I was at regarding my opinion on same-sex marriage.

There are four fundamental reasons under the constitution that are discussed in the Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme court case of why marriage should apply to everyone.

Reason #1 made sense for all couples regardless of gender.

“The right to personal choice regarding marriage is inherent in the concept of individual autonomy.”

“Choices about marriage shape our destiny.”

This makes sense because marriage and who we spend our time with does shape our destiny, it shapes who we become, and it shapes all parts of our life. It should be up to the individual to marry whomever they want to marry.

Reason #2 makes sense.

“The right to marry is fundamental because it supports a two-person union unlike any other in its importance to the committed individuals.”

“Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other.”

Spending time with another person and feeling attached to them is such a wonderful feeling and everyone should be able to experience that.

Reason #3 stopped me dead in my tracks. In order to procreate it takes a man and a woman. There is no other way. Yes you can have a child another way, but you can’t pro-create one and that’s the original purpose of marriage.  

“The right to marry safeguards children and families and thus draws meaning from related rights of childbearing, procreating and education.”

Reason #4 make so much sense to me because marriage is so important.

“Marriage is a keystone of our social order.”

In Maynard v. Hill back in 1888 the court said that: “Marriage is “the foundation of the family and of society, without which there would be neither civilization nor progress. …(marriage)  has long been “a great public institution, giving character to our whole civil polity.”

Now I was back at square one. How does this work for me. Reasons #1 works. Reason #2 works. Reason #4 works, but Reason #3, it doesn’t work and there’s no way to get past this. Yes same sex couples can be awesome parents to children, but they can’t procreate which is the fundamental reason for marriage. It’s how life continues on. How do we expect life to continue on if married couples aren’t procreating?

I turned next to the talk given by Russell M. Nelson titled “Disciples of Jesus Christ-Defenders of Marriage” where he said: “Marriage was not created by human judges or legislators. … Marriage was created by God.”

“Social and political pressures to change marriage laws are resulting in practices contrary to God’s will regarding the eternal nature and purposes of marriage. Man simply cannot make moral what God has declared to be immoral. Sin, even if legalized by man, is still sin in the eyes of God.”

“Male and female are created for what they can do and become, together. It takes a man and a woman to bring a child into the world. Mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. Men and women are distinct and complementary. Children deserve a chance to grow up with both mom and dad.”

This goes against what I read for reason #4. Reason #4 was arguing that it doesn’t matter who is in the marriage children can still be brought in. Yes that is true, but they cannot be brought in through pro-creation, which is the way they’re intended to be brought into the marriage. It takes a man and woman to pro-create and this cannot happen in a sex marriage. We know that same sex marriage is considered a sin in God’s eyes.

This has me wondering how to I love these people who I know are wondering, love, great people, but who are not following God’s commandments. Russel M Nelson says: “Proclaim your love for all human beings “with malice toward none, and charity for all.” They as children of God are our brothers and sister. We value their rights and feelings. But we cannot condone efforts to change divine doctrine. It is not for man to change.”

After reading this article my heart was turned toward God’s way and what He’s asking us to do. He’s asking us to stand firm to the true origins set for marriage which is that marriage is to be between one man and one woman in complete fidelity.

We learn through Nelson that “Complete fidelity to covenants made in the holy temples will allow husband and wife to be sealed together throughout all eternity.”

This is what we’re all striving for-an eternal marriage. If we stray from the straight and narrow path and get caught up in the fancy and shiny promises that the world makes when it says that marriage can be between two people regardless of gender, then we’re allowing ourselves to be led astray into the mists of darkness and we can become lost.

We must stand strong as defenders of marriage and let the world know that marriage is a sacred responsibility that only one man and one woman should enter into together. We can be the guiding light for the world. They can look for us as they wander lost in the midst of darkness. They will see our light shining bright and they will come to it and ask for us to lead them back to the path. They will know that we are defenders of marriage.